Best books on toxic shame

Consistent shame can have insidious consequences, but it’s possible to overcome this difficult feeling.

The first step is to identify shame. Given that it can be largely unconscious, identifying, labeling, and monitoring shame are critical steps in resolving it.

You can explore feelings of shame with a therapist, a friend, or in a journal for yourself—although it might hurt to acknowledge at first.

Resolving shame often involves the practice of self-compassion.

Where is shame held in the body

Self-compassion can improve the way we see ourselves and quiet our inner critic. Exercises may include writing a compassionate letter to yourself, which research shows can lower shame, self-criticism, and anxiety, or writing a compassionate letter to yourself from the point of view of someone in a position of power over you since shame involves feeling like others are evaluating you negatively.

Another tool is a loving kindness meditation, in which you imagine loving yourself and others, and imagine being open to receiving love. Yet another approach is learning to forgive yourself, in the past and present.